You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
