I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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