i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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