Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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