You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
