if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
