I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Randomize
