hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
