you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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