PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Congratulations! We have a period
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
