It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize