So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
