1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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