on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
