just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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