you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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