i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
