Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
