Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
