I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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