I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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