i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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