i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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