the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
