she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
