I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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