Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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