I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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