I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
