there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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