Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
