You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
