What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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