saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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