doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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