We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
