im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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