I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
