Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize