I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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