Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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