We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize