This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize