Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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