We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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