i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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