pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
