We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
