I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
