12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
