also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize