wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
