Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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