Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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