Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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