Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
