she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
