there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
