He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
