he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
