Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
