Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
