So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
