If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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